Bill Simmons Is A Twitter Genius

Bill Simmons, being the sports/life wiz that he is, has decided to take advantage of Celtics tweeters by creating a "Celtics Chants" twitter account.  The objective behind this idea is to get all fans on the same page with obnoxiously catchy chants.  Fans will be able to submit ideas by mentioning @CelticsChants in their tweets, and then the best will be chosen and retweeted by Simmons. With the explosion of twitter on mobile devices, fans will know exactly what to chant at what time.  It's pure genius.  I'm not sure if Simmons is the first to do this, but he damn sure if the right dude to take action, and for that he deserves at least a HJ from every Celtics dancer.  By the looks of it, fans are quickly jumping on board, compiling over 6,000 followers in a matter of days.  Now let's ream out 'Bron 'Bron and sink the Cavs ship yet again. Hey Lebron, how about...#Boo-kies-pissed-off

Follow @CelticsChants Here

Daily Dumbass: Lebron James Rapper

I don't know who this kid is or what he was thinking, but this is one of he most pathetic attempts at a parody song that I've ever seen. Good job bro, got yourself a spot on F2DD as the Daily Dumbass.

Shouts to barstool for posting this earlier!

NY Bribing 'Bron 'Bron With Boobies & Beef

TMZ: May 11, 2010: 

 "LeBron James just got the sweetest offer in the history of mankind to move from Cleveland to the New York Knicks -- a lifetime of free stripper action.

The Cleveland Cavaliers star -- who will become a free agent after this season -- is getting million-dollar offers from several franchises to make the switch to their team ... but if LeBron inks a deal with the Knicks, New York's premiere strip club Scores says it'll give the basketball star: 

- A free lifetime of lap dances

- A "LeBron James Day" when all the strippers will wear his jersey

- And free food for life at the strip club's very own steakhouse

Good luck competing with that Utah!  

Well Lebron, you've got quite the offer served fresh on a NY platter.  I mean how can you beat free lap dances, steaks, and honey dips wearing your jersey on a designated Lebron James day?  At some point you have to cut your losses and realize that life's necessities don't include a ring. Food, a city wide day in tribute to you, and strippers are a token of survival.  Sure you may not have the ice to flash while some dip is grinding on your junk, but at least you'll have a nice cut of beef at all times, right?

New Nickname for LeBron: Queen James… as in Drama Queen

Is anybody falling for this bullshit about how LeBron’s right elbow hurts? Michael had the flu, Kobe’s got the broken finger, and now LeBron is saying, “Hey, look at me. I’m banged up too.” Does he really need anymore attention? Knock it off with the wincing after every shot, and the lefty free throws. You’re fine. We all know you’re the MVP, give it a rest. As a result of the LeBron media frenzy, now we’ll have to listen to countless sideline updates from Craig Sager and Erin Andrews during the Celtics-Cavs series about how LeBron’s elbow is holding up. In all seriousness, what’s the over/under on the number of sideline reports on LeBron’s elbow during this series: 17? 18? 342?

Here’s a thought. If your elbow is really bothering you, why don’t you quit all the theatrics, the dancing, the flexing, etc? There’s no need to put all that added stress on your tender joints.

Look, nobody is falling for all your crap. We all know you’re going to average 35 points a game against the Celtics. But hey, at least now you have a built in excuse when you lose.

Quit the drama queen act. Just shut up and play ball, Queen James.

Daily Dumbass: Shaqueer

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Shaq only needs to play a complementary role for the #1 overall Cavaliers, which bodes well for his re-introduction to the rotation. Another good sign -- according to the Plain-Dealer, "[Shaq] lost around 20 pounds by running and cutting out cheeseburgers during his absence."

So this is what Shaq does when he's sidelined with a "thumb" injury huh? Seems to me like the Cav's have some bigger issues on their hands that Shaq's phalangees. Sure Shaq has participated in his fair share of antics over the course of his career, but c'mon Diesel, keep the wig off and your shirt on, you're starting to act like Starbury.

Who am I to judge though, we all know Shaq is in Cleveland for one reason and one reason only; to harness Dwight (assuming the possibility that somehow the Celtics lose). Maybe Shaq's antics are simply an attempt of intimidating Superman, who himself, has impersonated Rick James. I'd have to give Dwight the upper hand on this one. I mean at least he got paid a few milli from Vitamin Water. It appears Shaq did it out of pure boredom over his Ustream channel. Here's an idea Shaq, get back on those cheeseburgers and off the Super Freak streak.

Baby Rajon Burnin' Cats Early...

I hate to jinx their game, but the Celtics, Rondo in particular, have started on absolute fiaaaaaarrrrrr!!!  Let's GOOOOOOOO!!  And Scal's spray tan is yet to be seen...man this night keeps getting better and better!

Brian ScalaSprayMe...Check

As promised, Scal follows through and is no longer the whitest irishmen in the NBA.  Pictures courtesy of 98.5, The Sports Hub, "Get that man a tan"!  Make sure to tune in to TNT Thursday evening for the Celtics/Cavaliers game to see the bronzed bimbo live. 

Antawn Jamison Shines in CLE Debut

In the words of the great Charles Barkley, "That was turribleeeeee"

Charlotte 110 defeats Cleveland 93 

"Antawn Jamison basically needed Mapquest to find the hoop.  Luckily he was in his old stomping grounds cause he's going to need some consoling after this one." -Jalen Rose

Solid start Antawn, keep it up.  

BREAKING NEWS: CAV'S ACQUIRE SEBASTIAN TELFAIR!

Shotgun Slangin' Sebastian

All this buzz about Antawn Jamison going to Cleveland, but Sebastian Telfair is really the key in this deal.  I'm pretty sure Danny Ainge paid off Telfair to jack up the chemistry in the Cleveland locker room.   We all know Sebass packs the heat.  Hey, ya never know maybe he'll go Gilbert on them and bring a 9 milli into the locker room to show off to Lebron, Lebron gets caught with it, charged with illegal possession of firearms, suspended indefinitely by D-Sterny, sentenced directly to the slammer bypassing the court system, just in time for the Celtics to make a run in the NBA playoffs...ANYTHINGS POSSIBLEEEEEEE (making KG face while yelling).