Daily Douche: John Cena

First off, I was going to assume John Cena was a Celtics fan until I hit up my friend Mr. Google.  For some reason my eye caught a glimpse as Cena during the Celt's/Magic game tonight, sitting next to some slam pig a few rows back.  Regardless, I did some research and found out Cena is not only a Celtics fan, but also a Magic and Lakers fan.  Reward: Instant delegation to Daily Douche.  

Second off, is John Cena really that huge or is that mini-me usher standing/sitting in the isle really that small?

You're kidding, Maria.

TMZ: Tennis babe Maria Sharapova and her Lakers boyfriend Sasha Vujacic like making things difficult for themselves. While in Palm Springs on Wednesday, the athletic couple played a bizarro game of tennis and used the racket's handle to hit the ball.

They're a perfect match.

How the fuck has this gone unnoticed? Did anyone know that the blonde bombshell, Maria Sharapova, is dating that douchebag Sasha Vujacic. You've got to be kidding me. Why why why why why would she ever date that pussy. Is there a more hated basketball player than Sasha Vujacic on the planet? I mean, he fucking sucks at the sport he plays, no one likes him, and all he does it bitch. I guess that's how you scoop a girl like Maria. All you've got to do is be a pussy. Chicks apparently dig that these days, especially hot ones.

Best part of this whole story is now we know why Sasha cut his hair. Not because he realized guys shouldn't have long hair like their female counterparts, but because Maria most likely told him too.

We also now have the answer why Sharapova can't play tennis anymore. Because she's with Sasha, what a joke.

Relax Ron, You Are Not & Never Will Be Rodman

 

"Lakers F Ron Artest channeled his inner Dennis Rodman. His hair was dyed blonde with letters in three different languages in Lakers purple. He didn't want to talk about his hair, but he posted on his Twitter page that the letters spelled "Defense" in Hebrew, Hindi and Japanese."

 

Today's Stats vs. Magic:

• 38 minutes
• 8 points on 2-10 shooting, 1-5 3pt FG's
• 6 boards
• 1 assist
• 2 turnovers

Solid performance from Ron Ron today as the Lakers drop their 3rd straight to Orlando. Here's a lesson Ron; you are not Dennis Rodman and you never will be Dennis Rodman. You cannot pull it off. You cannot rap (although this may be the most entertaining tribute in the history of music). Play defense, thats all you can do and that's all you should do.