NH Teens Shot-Putted In Car By UFO

"UFO picks up Laconia, NH car with teens and drops 180 feet away"

April 18, 7:08 PMUFO ExaminerRoger Marsh

Two New Hampshire teenagers sitting in a parked car were approached by a black-colored UFO in Laconia on March 20, 2010, lifted into the air and then dropped back onto pavement 180 feet away, according to testimony from the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) database.

The 18-year-old girl and 16-year-old boy both offer testimony about their encounter.

"We were just sitting there and I looked up at the moon," the female witness stated. "I saw this weird black-shaped object. And then, I said to my boyfriend, 'What was that?'” 

Both accounts describe the same events. They saw an object coming toward them from the sky and began to panic. When they attempted to drive away, the car they were operating was lifted up off the ground. Both describe an odd smell during the incident.

When the car hit the pavement 180 feet away, the windshield cracked and the air bags deployed.

The male witness descibed the UFO.

"I don’t know how to explain this but it turns into a ball when it wants to slow down and move around quickly and when it wants to go fast, straight, it turns into a flat plate with maze box-shaped lined lights. These were on all the time."

He describes attempting to drive away.

"The front end got picked up and the car could not move. We steered left and right but the car just kept on going up into the air."

Notice the date stamp on this article.  Now being a NH-er-er myself, I am aware that our state is lacking social light swagger north of the Manchester border.  So this is just another case of teenagers celebrating an early 4/20 right?  Making up UFO/alien stories and shit high off too much tenfootganjaplant.  Wrong!  There are fucking aliens in New Hampshire.  Fuck crop circles and all that other bullshit.  These kids got proof...You know what that is---->  

Goddamn asphalt!  Doesn't get realer than that now does it?  Nothing like 3" deep cracks in the asphalt.  I mean it's not like a car falling from 180' would do more damage than a 3" divot right?  Let's be serious now.  I could drop a dookie from 180' and do more damage than that.  

My question is, can I make up some candy ass story like this and make the headlines?  I can see it now...

"Local blog, Fresh2Death Daily sends infrared mind signals from computer screen into kids brain's resulting in explosive diarrhea. (Pictures of the shit-in-the-bowl to prove it)"

Kids these days with their 10th grade Sci-Fi projects.